Protestor Dies From Burning American Flag

Things that make me chuckle:

Some idiot in Pakistan went to meet his 72 virgins in a way he never intended:

Around 10,000 people participated in the main rally organised on The Mall by the Tehreek Hurmat-i-Rasool. The participants marched from Nila Gumbad to Masjid-i-Shuhada on The Mall. Despite a ban on rallies on The Mall, the road remained blocked for vehicular traffic from noon to 6 pm. … 

One of the participants of the rally, Abdullah Ismail, passed away after he was taken to Mayo Hospital. Witnesses said he had complained of feeling unwell from the smoke from US flags burnt at the rally.

It must have been one of those US flags that were made in China.

Anyway, picture the scene, our hero Abdullah gets to paradise and while waiting in line behind numerous jihadi's who died while killing American soldiers trying to help them or premature explosion victims and ultimately finding out they will be sent to hell instead, wonders if he'll get his 72 raisins virgins.

Whichever prophet makes the decision looks at him says "how did you die?"

Abdullah responds "from the chemicals in the smoke of the burning flag of the Great Satan".

"Wait, how exactly did you come to the door of paradise?'

"I was protesting a movie made by some third-rate director and inhaled too much of the smoke from an American flag"

The decision maker doubles over in laughter and passes him out of sheer embarrassment for the man and then calls after him "shalom".

Everybody Lighten the Hell Up

So I'm listening to The Five on the way home. I like the show, it's funny and they selected different personalities that mix well for the most part. Plus, Kimbery Guilfoyle, Dana Perrino and Andrea Tantaros are all hot so that's a bonus.

Anyway, today Bob Beckel breaks out his inner idiot and say something akin to Romney went to Israel for a fundraiser with "diamond merchants". Right-wing Twitterati are up in arms and want Beckel's head on a platter.

Listen y'all, lighten up. The premise of the show is humor and light-heartedness. Is what Beckel said offensive? To some it probably is. But we on the right have to roll with the punches and not act so damn offended at everything. Liberals have no sense of humor, we do. Beckel is a blowhard, I get that and the guy says outrageous shit on a regular basis but that's just his shtick. He a rude, old, alcoholic, jock who is the liberal punching bag on the show.

I'm a "South Park Republican", which means I find everything funny. that show has something to offend everyone, every second. That's why it remains the best show on TV. Unlike Family Guy, which has a liberal slant, South Park eviscerates everyone equally. You know how liberals comedians just can't bring themselves to bust on Obama? I find that offensive. Just as I would find it offensive if someone didn't bust on Michael Moore, Dick Cheney or Colin Powell.

Yea, Beckel is a moron and his responses are generally not thought out and inane to boot but let's stop all the talk of firing him and other such nonsense. Sometimes we all sound like pussy liberals who see racism, misogyny and gay-bashing in everything. PC-ism is bullshit in my opinion and we all need to learn to laugh at ourselves, each other and everything else because life is too damn short to freak out over every word muttered that makes you uncomfortable. If you wanna be that way, become a Democrat.

Jimmy Kimmel Finds Funny Stuff to Say About Obama

Amazing, all these years we were told there just wasn't anything funny about Obama. He was just too perfect to make fun of.

Well guess what, Jimmy Kimmel found a few things. Funny thing is, all he did was pick up a paper and his material was essentially written for him. Hell, any blogger on the right could have told you that this guy freely gives the greatest material and we've not been this fortunate since Clinton.

I mean, think about it; he selected Joe Biden as his running mate and it just got easier to pick out hilarious tidbits on a daily basis. This president is a comedic gift that was funny about $5-trillion ago. To see a small example, just read Ed's takes on a daily basis and you'll see what I mean. He's not lacking for any material, that's for sure.

The Best Obituary Ever

I would've liked to knock back beers with this dude:

A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.

Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.

Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

RIP Flathead. A damn shame we never meet here on Earth but may we share a few cold ones in heaven.

Hat tip: Daily Caller

Update: The DC sent a reporter to get some of the stories.

Noted Thief of Black Music to Join Obama for Black History Month Celebration

Mick Jagger; who stole his entire persona from black bluesmen is joining Obama for the festivities:

WASHINGTON - Mick Jagger is going to the White House. He will be part of a celebration of the blues for Black History Month at the White House next Tuesday.

Jeff Beck, B.B. King, Buddy Guy and Keb Mo will also perform.

President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama will attend.

Now Mick was no Elvis is copying the music of noted delta bluesmen but he was a close second:



For the record, I'm a big Stone's fan and this is tongue in cheek but think about it.

Obama and Baseball: Keep Your Day Job, Kid

The Chief Executive walked to the mound, toed the rubber and with the world watching...threw like a girl:



Note the boos as well.

Now, I'm not a major league vet but for crying out loud, the dude has a tall, lanky pitchers body and he's a lefty--the perfect combo for a pitcher. And he can't throw more than a forty MPH arcing pitch in the dirt. North Korea is laughing at us. Iran is laughing at us. Now we have the baseball-crazy Latin American world laughing at us. Dude, when the leader of the Dominican Republic has reason to chuckle at us, we're in trouble.

Here's George W. Bush showing how it's done by a man who's actually played between the lines:



A friggin' strike right down the middle.

To add to that, he's a faux baseball fan as he referred to Comiskey Park as "Cominskey". Anyone who has followed the club for, oh, the last century knows it's Comiskey named after a former owner and since renamed US Cellular Field. Some fan.

More at GWP.

Update: The media fawns all over The One throwin' the old 59-footer. Too bad the mound is 60' 6" from the plate.

Thursday Afternoon News & Notes

Today is about a close to feeling like a Friday as any day but a Friday can. Enjoy the Fourth, I'm headed down to Virginia for a baseball tourney with my boy.

Here's what's new is this crazy-ass world:

-A joint Russian-Nigerian oil conglomerate chooses a highly unfortunate name.

-Saddam told the FBI that he lied about WMD to fool Iran. He also fooled Dick Cheney, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, John Edwards, Joe Biden...

-Some never-was on CNBC claims he received "veiled death threats" from bloggers over comments against the blogosphere. I've never heard of the guy and he doesn't show up in too many hits on Google. I guess he's going for that cool lib street cred or something. BTW, WTF is a "veiled death threat?"

-WaPo conducts fastest damage control in history after flyer's offering access to top pols for money distributed.

-US Soldier captured by Taliban after being "sold" by insurgents. The terrorists say they will release a video soon. Pray for the man.

AFL-CIO hands out Hard Hats Made in China

In a move that sums up the idiocy of Big Labor, they handed out hard hats and pushed for passage of "Card Check"--the anti-American bill they are pushing whereby secret ballots are replaced by open ones. The hard hats were stamped with stickers that read "Made in China".



And these are the people that are now co-owners of GM. They were too friggin' stupid to buy hard hats made in America and we're supposed to trust them.

Monday Morning News & Notes

Happy Monday...or not.

Todays news in cartoons:

Classic:


About right:

Go Navy!

The newest US Navy recruiting poster:

Saddam Was Shown South Park Movie Allegedly

According to the creators of South Park, Saddam Hussein was forced to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut repeatedly:

During his captivity, US marines forced Saddam, who was executed in 2006, to repeatedly watch the move South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, which shows him as gay, as well as the boyfriend of Satan. He was also regularly depicted in a similar manner during the TV series.

...Stone, 37, said both he and Parker, 39, were most proud of the signed Saddam photo, given to them by the US Army's 4th Infantry Division.

He said: "We're very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means. Its one of our biggest highlights.

"I have it on pretty good information from the marines on detail in Iraq that they showed Saddam the movie.

Now that is awesome.

Here's the Saddam/Satan scene from the movie. I warn you that the content is rough.

Sunday Morning News and Notes

Still rainy but after the epic win by Villanova last night, who cares?

Here's what's new:

-Insane environmental laws have turned Spokane, WA residents into detergent smugglers.

-Obama's biggest critic is Paul Krugman? I don't know what hurts more, the fact that I agree with Krugman or that he may finally be right on an issue.

-Report: Video of Joe Biden's daughter snorting cocaine this year going for $250K. Not cool for Biden or his daughter. Smoking a J? Not such a big deal. Snorting coke? Big deal all-around. No one wants to see a young woman doing drugs and it's going to be very public.

-"He's not a real president, but he plays one on TV."

-We're in a baby boom.

-Mmmm, fried testicles:

"They kind of taste like chicken. I say it's between fried calamari and chicken liver," she said. "I've had them fixed all different ways, but you can't beat how the Rotarians do it."

No, I suppose you can't.

Dems Come Up With Lame Anti-Rush Billboard

Ed has an amusing response for the RNC or EIB to place right next to the billboard:

Heh.

Update: More Photoshop fun in this Free Republic thread such as this one:

I love that site.

Pelosi Misses Global Warming Protest Because of Snowstorm

Awesome. The global warming swindle becomes even more hilarious:

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) had to cancel an appearance Monday at a global warming rally in Washington, D.C., that was hit by a snowstorm because her flight was delayed, her office told CNSNews.com.

Brianna Cayo-Cotter, the spokesman for the Energy Action Coalition that held the rally, told a group of reporters that she had been in contact with Pelosi and that her flight had been delayed because of inclement weather.

Gaia does have a sense of humor, doesn't she?

Update: Tim Blair has a list of all the GW events that were intruded upon by frigid temps or snow.

What Obama Really Means

Hope. And. Change (TM). More like I really HOPE that we don't get anymore of the CHANGE Obama's brought us. We can't handle or afford it.

This sticker about says it all:

Via Gateway Pundit. Sticker available at Zazzle.

Tuesday Night News and Notes

What's up? Here's what's a happenin'

Rick Moran asks "Wasn't Bush belittled for taking time off during the war?". Yes, I believe he was but he's not, you know, The One.

Yeah, the real money experts seem to be overcome with excitement about the porkulus bill. The market tanked again and is at 7552.60 as we speak.

Woman uses wedgie to subdue car thief. Is there anything a wedgie can't do?

The evils of Islamic political ideology.

The longest ear hair in the world. Yeah, ear hair.

Working at the place depicted in the pic at right tomorrow.

Flying Pig Moment: John Stewart Busts on Obama

Have my eyes deceived me?

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=218356&title=clusterf#@k-to-the-poor-house

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Important Things With Demetri Martin

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Joke of the Day

Shocka! Stewart actually busted on Obama's poor speaking style, the reporter who asked the inane A-Rod question, the Huffington Post and just about every other brutal aspect of that press conference.

It's a start I guess and one doubts it will spread to the volume we saw with Bush but late night talkers would be wrong to miss this gold mine of comedy. So far, in less than a month, Obama has broken every campaign promise, hired tax cheats, irritated our allies, ridiculed his VP and essentially made a mess of his first task--ramming through the porkulus package.

Interestingly, we see a GOP that was in the gutter a month ago resurgent and ready to fight because of Obama's lack of leadership and downright incompetence thus far.

His press conference the other night was a moment to shine and give Americans confidence ala FDR, JFK and Reagan. Instead he came off as a poor copy of Jimmy Carter delivering his "Malaise" speech.

Stewart now should turn his attention to Robert Gibbs, that dudes daily press briefing would give him material for the foreseeable future.

Two Amusing Takes on The Porkulus Bill

First, the always humorous Iowahawk:

"The number itself is incomprehensible by human minds, and can only be theoretically understood in a fractional parallel universe which we refer to as the DC dimension," said Brossard. "The best way to understand a stimulus is to imagine a dollar sign followed by a packed string of hexidecimal nanodigits, wound into a triple helix, woven into a dodecahedron, and stacked on top of one another. Now imagine you were a black hole on the far edge of the universe, trying to escape the stimulus at 30 times the speed of light. The stimulus would still catch up to you and ram your black hole with such furious, repeated force that it would cause your entire reality itself to collapse."

And don't forget Ann Coulter:

Judging by the care that the State Department took with private visa records last year, that the Ohio government took with Joe the Plumber's government records, that the Pentagon took with Linda Tripp's employment records in 1998, and that the FBI took with thousands of top secret "raw" background files in President Clinton's first term, the bright side is: We'll finally be able to find out if Bill Clinton has syphilis -- all thanks to the stimulus bill!

HHS bureaucrats will soon be empowered to overrule your doctor. Doctors who don't comply with the government's treatment protocols will be fined. That's right: Instead of your treatment being determined by your doctor, it will be settled on by some narcoleptic half-wit in Washington who couldn't get a job in the private sector.

Read both of them.

Monday Night News and Notes

I'm still on the East Coast clock so I'm all fubar here. I expect 24 to start in an hour and a half not 4 1/2 hours.

Anyway, here's what's happening around the Internet:

Treacher brings us The One pulling a Gerald Ford boarding Marine One complete with appropriate music. Awesome:



That video above is pure gold. Obama has been shown to be less than the Smartest Guy on the Planet over his first month, huh?

Laura Rosen Cohen ponders The Silence of the Leftists.

It seems that the Melbourne fires are Kevin Rudd's Katrina.

Nice, an attorney takes an unorthodox approach in battling the ACLU.

What was old is new again. Obama goes back to the Clinton years in more ways than hiring retreads.

A must read by Michael Totten who helps lead the world of citizen journalism. Please give him a donation if you can to keep reports like these going. I'd love to have a beer with Totten and Michael Yon one day.

Tuesday Night News and Notes

It's snowing nicely in South Jersey, not sticking to the roads but lying on the lawns.

Thngs I found pretty funny today:

I find it funny that liberals are the only ones that care what the NY Times Editorial Board writes and actually will quit because of those words.

I find it funny that when the aforementioned guy quit, he did so emotionally to Andrea Mitchell who no one has taken seriously for years except liberals.

I find it funny that Katie Couric thought she had the scoop of interviewing hero Captain Sullenberger first and ESPN's Ricky Reilly beat her to it.

I find it funny that Dem tax cheats are falling left and right and we can all sit back and make fun of them in clever ways.

I find it funny that shady Democrat Senators feel the need to tell us that Rush Limbaugh has 1st Amendment rights and can criticize Obama.

I find it funny that Hollywood continues to make anti-Bush movies that crash and burn stupendously.