Thursday, August 02, 2012

Meet the New World Douchebag Champion

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As anyone who watches the Olympics knows, world and Olympic records are constantly falling. So it is with douchebaggery. As someone who's written about douchebags on a regular basis for ten years (Paul Begala, Al Sharpton, John Edwards, etc.) I consider myself an expert on just what qualifies one to be a raging douchebag. This guy was the former title holder.

We now have a new gold medalist who's pomposity, smug attitude and all-around dickheadedness gave him record scores. Check this out:

My friends, this is elevating douchebag to record levels and even the Venezuelan and French judges agreed by giving him a perfect score. First he talks to the camera and bestows his wishes on a group of young people who are probably just going to smoke a couple of bowls and get a Chick Fil A sandwich because they are good munchies food from what I've heard.

Then our heroine pulls up and berates a girl who's doing nothing more than trying to make a living. The dude goes on and on in his smug shit-eating style acting like he's some kind of fucking lefty super hero while the girl remains calm, cool and collected making the guy look even lamer.

The topper is that he destroys any credibility he had (about 0.00001%) by finishing with the line about being hetero and not having any gay in him. Just a hunch but I think he's probably had gay in him before...but I digress. But he says it like being gay is wrong or something after going off on a great American corporation for supposedly being anti-gay. Way to make your point you fucking homophobe.

 Of course, this asshole doesn't even have the balls to say his name and posts the video anonymously then takes it down because he's an all-around pussy.

I'm more than willing to take the bet that this jack-off gets identified pretty quickly because you know this guy has no friends and has probably alienated every one he knows, including his family, and one of those people will spill the beans. I can't wait until he gets belittled by tons of scorn, humiliation and abuse and we can all savor the schadenfreude together.

Exit question: The over-under on how many times this dude has been laid in the last year (without paying for it) is 1. I take the under.

Via The Trawler who links to the comments destroying this idiot.

Update: Our douchebag of the year has been identified as Adam Smith, a CFO/Treasurer of an upstanding company called Vante. He is now the former CFO/Treasurer as the company bounced his ass because of this stupid stunt. It appears that this guy was hated by his employer as much as he was by the rest of us. No company would oust a company officer that fast if they thought he was worth remotely keeping around. Here's their website but I'm linking to a page other than their homepage since that's evidently getting slammed. If i ever find myself in need of their products (and I pray i don't) I will gladly fork over my money.

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