What If the Yankees Choked Again?

I work in North Jersey, which is populated by Mets and Yankees fans. They tend to switch based on who is doing better like they do with the Jets and Giants, but I digress.

Anyway, the Phillies took care of their business last night with a barrage of hits and homers and the Yankmee's are currently down 4-0 to the Angels. Here's a bit of what the eventual winner will have to deal with through the magic of self-made video that captures the sheer joy and love this area has for this team:



Now there is some precedent here as the Yankmee's were up 3-0 against the hated Sox and preceded to lie down. That could happen here. Yankmee's fans were strutting around today as if they had already won telling me they would smack the Phils. Get there first, scrubs.

The laughter from the Delaware Valley would be heard in the Bronx and the crying from Fox would be heard all the way up to Alaska.

I leave you with the fallout of that epic choke (NSFW-ish):



BTW, Fuck New York!

Welcome to Philly Rays Fans

Let be among the first (and few) to welcome Rays fans to our happy city. Frank Fitzpatrick is among the scant others who say welcome in his own special way:

If you arrive early for Sunday's game, do not, under any circumstances, wander into the Eagles' parking lots. (If you're confused, the Eagles' lots are those where the balloons of nitrous oxide are going for $20 and the tailgaters are grilling Dallas fans.) The last out-of-town baseball fan who made that mistake was cornered, beaten, and forced to watch Eagles Post Game Live.

Yeah, Birds games are kinda like Dead shows with alot more beer and a violence level that is about 1000-times more than your average Black Sabbath gig.

Anyway, I'd like to give you some pointers as well:

Stay away from the bullpen when your guy is warming up. The Phils fans are right on top of them and tend to be the variety that is, shall we say...full of beer and piss. The pic below is the bullpen your Rays will have to warm up in. 'Nuff said.

Next, as Fitz alluded to, it's probably not in your best interest to wear Rays gear. You would probably be smarter to just paint a bullseye on your back as the B.J. Upton jersey you bought last week at Modell's will serve the same purpose.

Also, as Fitz mentioned, you may want to stay on the north side of Pattison Ave. The Linc is that big building on the south side where the Eagles will be playing tomorrow. Now, the Rays aren't playing until 8:00 PM and the Eagles play at 1:00 PM. The Eagles fans will have been drinking at the Linc since roughly 6:00 AM; do the math and realize it doesn't add up in your favor. That's fourteen hours to get properly lubricated by game time. God help you should the Eagles lose because all bets are off at that point. You may want to find the nice policeman riding a horse and stay close to him. As a public service, below is a picture of a typical Eagles fan. Not the beer firmly planted in hand the sloped forhead and mouth formed in a perfect scream that is either aimed at Tony Romo or else Andy Reid has just called his fourth straight running play in the red zone. Here's more of a primer.

Finally, should you feel the need to break out the cowbell you all so irritatingly ring, the chances are pretty high that it will be removed by the proctologist on call at Thomas Jefferson Hospital. You had better hope said proctologist is not a Phillies fan.

Please feel free to e-mail me if you need any more survival tips and welcome to our fair city--the City of Brotherly Love. Enjoy your stay.

World Series: Phils Vs. Rays

Gotta go right now but I predict:

Phillies in six with Hamels winning tonight.

Red Sox Kick Nails Off Coffin Lid

It appears the Tampa Bay Rays are going to be the latest team to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against the Red Sox. Ahead three games to one, they tanked in Boston after leading 7-0 and last night at home were beaten by the light-hitting (of late) Jason Varitek.

Tonight is Game Seven and the winner plays my Phillies on Wednesday in the World Series. Tune into TBS at 8:00.

Note to TBS: If you are having trouble with the signal, please don't put on an inane sitcom that no one ever watched when it was on the networks. What a disgrace Ted Turner's network is and MLB should put all games on Fox or ESPN after that sorry event.