Hidden Secret: The Media Wants the GOP to Win...No Really

Leave it to the intrepid sleuths at the Huffington Post to blow the lid off a conspiracy that is so diabolical as to convince everyone with the exception of idiotic lefties with tin foil in their tams:

Something is not right. We have a terrific candidate and a terrific VP candidate. We're coming off the worst eight years in our country's history. Six of those eight years the Congress, White House and even the Supreme Court were controlled by the Republicans and the last two years the R's have filibustered like tantrum throwing 4-year-olds, yet we're going to elect a Republican who voted with that leadership 90% of the time and a former sportscaster who wants to teach Adam and Eve as science? That's not odd as a difference of opinion, that's logically and mathematically queer.

See the delusion here? It's gospel that Obama is a good candidate, Biden was a good selection, Bush is the worst president in the history of the republic and Palin is not a governor, she's a "former sportscaster" (the fact that Olbermann is also a former sportscaster escapes our hero but I digress.) They are at a loss to explain how a man as Messianic as Obama could possibly lose this election so there has to be an evil plot--probably hatched by Dick Cheney--whereby the media is in cahoots to put this election in the column of the GOP. Yes, the same media that has been rooting around every place Gov. Palin has ever been and talking to everyone she has ever talked with. Yeah, the same media that humiliated her daughter to smear her. Yes, the same media that mentioned there may just be something to that story about Bristol Palin actually being Trig Palins mother.

It get better as our boy goes way off the tracks on the Palin Derangement Syndrome LOCOmotive:

So what is this house advantage the Republicans have? It's the press. There is no more fourth estate. Wait, hold on...I'm not going down some esoteric path with theories on the deregulation of the media and corporate bias and CNN versus Fox...I mean it: there is no more functioning press in this country. And without a real press the corporate and religious Republicans can lie all they want and get away with it. And that's the 51% advantage.

Think this is some opinion being wryly posited to titillate other bloggers and inspire dialogue with Tucker Carlson or Gore Vidal? Fuck that. Four corporations own all the TV channels. All of them. If they don't get ratings they get canceled or fired. All news is about sex, blame and anger, and fear. Exposing lies about amounts of money taken from lobbyists and votes cast for the agenda of the last eight years does not rate. The end.

Okay, I'll bite, Instead of investigating sex (Bristol Palin), blame and anger (McCain's supposed bad temper) and fear (the GOP pushing the al-Qaeda meme), I'll agree with this idiot and say let's look into the money taken from lobbyists (Biden and MBNA) and lies (Obama's relationships with both Rezko and Bill Ayers. Let's get on with it.

The left in this great nation is slowly coming unhinged by the fact that they were outwitted by us non-Harvard educated Republicans once again. We threw a curveball and nominated a hick, ez-beauty queen, gun-toting, bible thumpin' woman for VP and for some reason, people like her.

My favorite bit of garbage thrown out that didn't stick was when they said that Bush's speechwriter wrote the speech and that's why it was so good and she's just like Bush. I thought Bush was a complete and utter idiot who drools when he eats and can't string two words together. He also hires intellectual lightweights for his staff, yet the speech was brilliantly written. How can that be?

Just to rub it in, the gun-toting, bible thumpin' hick from Crawford Texas also beat you...twice. And no, it had nothing to do with Diebold.