James Madison

The Inqy takes shots at Bush and the various security programs enacted through the vehicle of a fictitious interview with James Madison (lazy journalism if you ask me):

Madison: Has the Fourth Amendment been repealed? I feared as much.

Guide: No, the Fourth Amendment is still with us, more or less. But since 9/11, everyone is more vigilant about security.

Madison: So modern citizens submit to searches without a warrant that particularly describes the things to be seized?

Guide: Pretty much. You can't be too careful nowadays. It's for the common good. Now please open your bag - there's quite a line of tourists forming behind you.

Madison: Very well. Egads. I've been in the 21st century for all of five minutes, and already I've surrendered one of the rights which I authored.

Guide: Look on the bright side. You had a choice on this one.
Madison: Whatever do you mean?

Guide: Well, there's the whole National Security Agency surveillance thing.
Madison: The National what?

Guide: The NSA. It's a top-secret government agency with all sorts of high-tech electronic surveillance equipment. After 9/11, the government started spying on communications between U.S. citizens and people overseas, trying to uncover terrorist plots. It went on for years without the public's knowledge, until a newspaper reported it last year.

Madison: And the judicial branch allowed this domestic spying?

Guide: The government didn't tell the courts about it, either - not even the secret court that was designed to handle just such cases.

Madison: Well, I am glad to hear that a free press is still functioning unfettered.

Guide: Um, yeah, about that. There's a push in Congress to prosecute reporters and editors at a newspaper for publishing classified information. Anyway, follow me up these stairs, please...

Shall we continue this on the way it would really play out if the Inqy was fair and balanced?

Madison: What information did they report?

Guide: Information about top secret programs that were effective in stopping terrorists who planned on mass murder.

Madison: And why did they do that if they knew it would lead to potential deaths?

Guide: Because the NY Times has decided that since they loathe the president, they will do everything possible to harm him and his party politically including putting the citizens safety in jeopardy. You can buy food at the cafeteria but don't forget to pay the tax.

Madison: What tax?

Guide: Well, now we have to pay sales tax, income tax, social security tax, medicare, property taxes and when we die, some have to pay an estate tax. That's just a partial list.

Madison: Isn't that against all the reasons we fought the crown, taxation was the main inspiration for rebellion.

Guide: Yes sir, but the Democrats believe in taxing everything as much as possible and every time the Republicans attempt to lower those taxes, the Democrats whine and moan.

Madison: Now what does that pin that woman is wearing that says "keep abortion legal" mean...