Thanks For the Compliment, Moron

The media machine has managed to make an unprepared, unqualified, solipsistic millionaire seem as though he's the greatest man of the people since Cesar Chavez. Obama has done what he rants against, divided us into two classes: the haves and the have-nots.

Check this out:

I love this big financial meltdown. At last, Republican-voting, suit-stuffing, briefcase-toting, almighty-buck-worshiping, strip-club-frequenting, slave-driving, law-flouting, power-abusing, wheeling, dealing, profit-stealing yuppies are getting hurt, too - just like the rest of us have been for decades.

J. Andrew Smith
Bloomfield, N.J.
mailto:N.J.jasmith4@comcast.net

Set aside the joy this idiot is enjoying watching 401K's disintegrate and the life savings of people erode, he's the typical guy who cheered every American death in Iraq because it made President Bush look bad. No, I'm more appalled by his statement "Republican-voting, suit-stuffing, briefcase-toting, almighty-buck-worshiping, strip-club-frequenting, slave-driving, law-flouting, power-abusing, wheeling, dealing, profit-stealing yuppies" being written as though that's a horrible thing.

Let's see:

Republican-voting? Check. Straight down the ticket every year.

Suit-stuffing? Er, not sure exactly what that means. I guess it means we're all fat or something. Being as Mr. Andrew probably sent this to the Inquirer written in Crayola, I'll just have to guess.

Briefcase-toting? I guess he means supporters of the GOP carry briefcases. I assume that Mr. Andrew is a union tradesman or something that would preclude him from utilizing a briefcase and hasn't actually taken the time to realize that his take-home pay is about to be slashed by an Obama administration. But hey, the local said to vote for him so, by golly, he will...mindlessly.

Almighty-buck-worshipping? Well, yeah, we are Republicans. I've never been able to pay my mortgage with my astoundingly good looks or pesos. Perhaps Mr. Andrews' employer will withhold his paycheck for a few day and we'll see exactly who worships the almighty buck. Better yet, I recommend that Mr. Andrews' employer start taking out 10% more of his paycheck as Obama will do and give it to the homeless guy sleeping on Broad St. We'll call it practicing for inauguration day. Mr. Andrews doesn't care about that almighty buck so it shouldn't be of concern to him.

Strip-club-frequenting? He says it like it's a bad thing or something. We choose to see it as frequenting small businesses to help boost the economy. If we stop going to these establishments, hundreds, if not thousands of college women will be unemployed. We look at it as our civic and fiscal duty. I guess Mr. Andrews is not a fan of working women, hot ladies or small business. He must be a communist.

Slave-driving? I'm guessing he meant this in the racial sense and thought he'd be oh-so-clever in adding this. My guess is that Mr. Andrews feels that he's being forced or pushed to work long hours, or more likely that he's forced to work at all. Here's a news flash, sport; you can leave your job and get another. You can go to college and earn a degree and get a job where you don't have to work for a "slave-driver". Or better yet, you can start your own business and be your own boss, but don't expect too much from your employees as they'll call you a "slave-driver".

Law-flouting? I see the law broken by politicians in and around Philly on a daily basis. Wayne Bryant, Robert Torricelli and others. Hmmm...it seems as if they're mostly Democrats with strong union ties to boot.

... wheeling, dealing, profit-stealing yuppies?
First off, most "yuppies" nowadays are liberals and second, who has even used "yuppie" to describe anyone since 1988? Now what's wrong with wheeling and dealing? I would imagine Mr. Andrews' boss is a wheeler-dealer and by being so can give Mr. Andrews a paycheck. Now the profit stealing thing is amusing as liberals seem perplexed that a company would actually be so callous as to turn a profit. How dare they. No, in Andrews' perfect world, the company management would bust their asses on a daily basis, take heavy financial risks, pay higher taxes and then be rewarded with minimum wage (while Mr. Andrews would keep his same amount of pay of course).

This sums up the liberal ideology so damn well. Play the class card while simultaneously trying to get ahead and make more money than the other guy. In my world it's called hypocrisy, in Mr. Andrews world it's called Democratic politics.