Bloviating, Blithering Blowhards & How I Wish It Happened

The Alito hearings are in full swing and we are being treated to the wisdom that is the Senate Judicial Committee. Jeez, are they just chock full of guile and wisdom. I was watching the C-SPAN replay last night and fell into that moment right before REM sleep listening to Chuckie Shumer. My goodness, the nightmares I had the entire night can't even be put into words. I also had a dream that Alito let loose and laid into the Donk showboaters. It went something like this:

SEN. EDWARD KENNEDY: I'm gravely concerned by Judge Alito's clear record of support for vast presidential authority unchecked by the other two branches of government.

ALITO: I'm gravely concerned that a state has residents that are so inane they've elected a man who allowed a young woman to drown and covered up for a relative accused of rape.

SEN. EDWARD KENNEDY: In decision after decision on the bench he has excused abusive actions by the authorities that intrude on the personal privacy and freedoms of average Americans. And in his writings and speeches he has supported a level of overreaching presidential power that, frankly, most Americans find disturbing and even frightening.

ALITO: No sir, what most Americans outside of New England find disturbing is the fact that after allowing Mary Jo Kopechne to die, thirty years later you named your dog "Splash" and wrote a book with that dog as a character. That's chutzpah on a grand scale, Mr. Senator.

SEN. CHARLES SCHUMER: So we'll ask you: Do you still personally believe very strongly that the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion? We will ask: Do you view elevation to the Supreme Court where you'll no longer be bound by high court precedent as the long sought opportunity to advance the goals of bringing about the eventual overruling of Roe V. Wade as you stated in 1985?

ALITO: Well Chuckie, I'll tell you what I believe. I believe that you are a whiny little toad who is pissy because even though you are the senior Senator from New York, you are still looked at as Hillary Clinton's lackey. As for Roe V. Wade, if you are asking me Senator am I against the ruthless murder of countless unborn children, well yes Senator, I am. Will that effect my judgement if presented the case? No, I will rule in accordance with what I think the constitution says. Now shut up and go polish Hillary's shoes.

SEN. RUSS FEINGOLD: Judge Alito promised to recuse himself in cases involving a mutual-fund company with which he had substantial investments, Vanguard. He kept those investments throughout his service in the court of appeals and still has them today.

But in 2002 he sat on a panel in a case involving Vanguard. Since his nomination to the Supreme Court, we have now heard different explanations from the nominee and his supporters about why he failed to recuse himself.

Needless to say, the shifting explanations and justifications are somewhat troubling.

ALITO: You know what is really troubling to me, Senator? The law that you concocted with Senator McCain to combat campaign finance abuses. The law directly goes against the 1st Amendment of the Constitution and if I had been sitting on the court when it was heard, I'd have struck it down.

Let me ask you Senator, would you like me to conduct an investigation into where your campaign money comes from? I didn't think so.

Update:

SEN. JOSEPH BIDEN: And I might add -- and I'll end with this -- we just had two Supreme Court justices before our caucus, just as they were before, I think, the Republican Caucus. They ventured opinions on everything, on everything, things that were going to come before the court. It did not in any way jeopardize their judicial independence.

So, Judge, I really hope that this doesn't turn out to be a minuet. I hope it turns out to be conversation.

ALITO: Well Senator Biden, that was by far the longest opening speech yet and I'll bet when you really get cranked up tomorrow you'll go fo eleven or twelve minutes.

My question to you, Mr. Senator is this; did you actually write those words or were they lifted from another British politician. Perhaps they are the same words, maybe switched around a bit, you used when Chief Justice John Roberts was sitting in this seat. I'd be surprised if you actually wrote them yourself with all due respect, sir.

Alas, it was just a dream and today Judge Alito acted like an adult and answered the moronic questions posed by the Donks. He ran circles around them ala John Roberts and will be confirmed unless he's filibustered.

Just a question: what the hell was Bush thinking when he nominated Harriet Miers knowing full well he had this guy available?