A New Goal

I have a new goal in my life. The previous goals were to marry a beautiful woman, have nice, smart kids and start my own business. I've achieved these.

Now my newest goal can be revealed:

I want to be the world Rock Paper Scissors Champion:

Las Vegas, step aside. It seems the Rock Paper Scissors World Championship may be the new stag party hot spot. In front of a roaring crowd early yesterday morning, Toronto's Andrew Bergel made a final throw of paper to beat out American Stan Long's rock to capture the tournament's gold medal.

...Bergel had never played in a professional Rock Paper Scissors tournament until he won Saturday's title.

Throwing out paper in the championship? Not a move I'd have made. I would've thrown scissors, but my methods are not the norm. I've already told my wife and my partner that next year, I'm there. Huge contracts be damned, if I'm called to sign on the day of the championship, I will not. I will throw down scissors (or rock...or paper, I don't want to give away my strategy) and be the champion I know I can be.

BTW, what the hell does the trophy look like?

Update:

Is it wrong to sacrifice my time and money for a shot at the dream? I don't care if the championship is in Thunder Bay or Yellow Knife, I'm going.

Think about it; Champion of the World in Rock Paper Scissors, I'll be the hero of every schoolyard kid. I'll get sponsors like Staples and, and...well Staples.