Headlines That Just Write Themselves

This is just too damn easy:

U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy tried to save six fishermen stranded on a breakwater near the Kennedy compound yesterday, but had to turn back and hand the rescue off to the fire department.

Kennedy called the Hyannis Fire Department around 11 a.m. when he saw the fishermen on the breakwater as waves up to 5 feet high crashed over it and winds gusted to 35 mph. The 69-year-old senator took out his whaler and got within earshot of the fishermen, but headed back because it was too dangerous, Hyannis Fire Capt. Craig Farrenkopf said.

"The senator was just coming into the dock on a whaler, he told us it was rough out there,'' Farrenkopf said.

Farrenkopf said Kennedy is familiar with the water and "thought he would do the right thing.''

"He realized it was beyond his realm of handling the incident,'' Farrenkopf said.

The line of the day goes to James Taranto (9th item):

It's scary enough to be trapped in the water, but being trapped in the water and having Ted Kennedy try to rescue you has got to be about the most terrifying experience imaginable. Just ask Mary Jo Kopechne, though she won't answer.