Hilarious:

"Today is Cinco de Mayo," writes Texan reader Bob C. "It celebrates the day that Mexico kicked France's ass. Do you know if the following countries have similar holidays?"


Britain
Germany
Algeria
Vietnam
Haiti
Austria
Italy
ad infinitum


That’s just mean and unfair France-bashing, Bob. You know they don’t like to be bashed, or hit, or poked, or otherwise touched inappropriately. Greater sensitivity is also demanded of Pugs of War, who confesses:

I see that the American soldiers in Abu Ghraib prison were torturing prisoners by forcing them to perform auto-erotic acts. Apparently I've been torturing myself for years and I didn't even realize it.