Mugger slaps around Clark:

Clark—and his staff—doesn’t even have the acumen to vet those who endorse his White House run. George McGovern is certainly no disgrace, but the general mentions the ’72 Democratic nominee with the same reverence as fellow supporter Michael Moore, the millionaire working stiff who’s currently selling scads of copies of his silly screed Dude, Where’re My Toes? Sorry, Dude, Where’s My Country?.

Even Peter Jennings, the ABC cocktail-circuit anchorman who’s barely less hostile to Bush than Sidney Blumenthal, couldn’t resist nailing Clark at last Thursday’s NH debate by asking him what substantiation he had about limo-enthusiast Moore’s claim that the president was a "deserter" during the Vietnam War. (Even though Jennings put forth the most damaging question, Clark blamed Fox News anchor Brit Hume, a conservative, for his bad showing. He said the next day, "I looked at who was asking the questions, and I think that was part of the Republican agenda in the debate.") Clark said he hadn’t verified the charge—five days after Moore made the remark in introducing the candidate at a rally—but said the filmmaker was a man brimming with courage and a "great American."

Jennings: "Let me ask you something you mentioned, then, because since this question- and-answer in which you and Mr. Moore [were] involved in, you’ve had a chance to look at the facts. Do you still feel comfortable with the fact that someone should be standing up in your presence and calling the president of the United States a deserter?"

Clark: "To be honest with you, I did not look at the facts, Peter. You know, that’s Michael Moore’s opinion. He’s entitled to say that. I’ve seen—he’s not the only person who’s said that. I’ve not followed up on those facts."

It’s possible that even Lehane cringed at that snippet of paranoia. I’m no conspiracy buff—even less so since my 11-year-son can’t stop yakking about Kurt Cobain’s "murder"—but isn’t it apparent to even someone who’s not a Rhodes scholar that the Clintons are chuckling at Clark’s public humiliation, and praying that John Kerry (or Edwards or Howard Dean, for all I know) flames out against Bush in November?

Frankly, I don’t really think the 2008 nomination is Sen. Hillary’s for the asking, especially if Rudy Giuliani challenges her in 2006, but if Bill (and Terry McAuliffe, if he wants to keep his DNC job) doesn’t proceed on that assumption he’ll probably go on an eating binge and wind up looking like Michael Moore. (Pardon the slur against the heavyset, not my usual m.o., but it’s the least Moore deserves after expressing remorse that the 9/11 victims were in states that voted for Gore.)

And another whack at Moore:

How humiliating was it for Art Garfunkel, at his advancing age, to be arrested last week for possession of a small amount of marijuana? I guess Artie’s faded so deep into the woodwork of has-beens that he can’t afford an entourage of handlers to keep such routine matters out of the newspapers. But there it was in the Daily Freeman on Jan. 22, a brief story about the Hurley, NY bust in which reporter Ariel Zangla wrote: "State police Capt. Louis Barbaria Jr. said the trooper didn’t realize who he arrested until later, even though Garfunkel identified himself as a celebrity."

I suppose Garfunkel’s doing okay in the pocketbook department, but what an ignominious fall from his heyday as Paul Simon’s not-so-equal partner in the 1960s. I remember as an eighth-grader going to Yankee Stadium for Opening Day and although the game was a bore, the highlight was spotting the duo in box seats as my buddies and I roamed around from our nosebleed seats. Not that I was a huge fan—S&G always seemed like hippie-dippy Dylan imitators—but still, when you’re a teenager from Huntington, Long Island, it’s not every day that bona fide celebrities are as close to you as Michael Moore’s mouth is to a bag of Doritos.