Ha.


They hate us because of our cultural imperialism. Whether it is “Baywatch,” or gorditas, or indoor plumbing, America continues its shameful legacy of exporting our violent global corporate McCulture. And believe me, nothing offends the Afghanistanic people like religious xenophobia, sexism and homophobia.

They hate us because of our support of Israel. How many disco and pizza parlor bombings will it take before America wakes up and realizes that we are supporting the wrong people? Let’s face it. Israel has a long record of oppression, much like those Jewish guys at the Hillel House and A.E.Pi who are always busting the grade curve in Western Civ. I mean, come on, man. Maybe some of the rest of us want to get into law school, too.

They hate us because of our racism. So you still think Americans are tolerant? Tell that to my Egyptian-Syrian neighbor Abdullah. Since the tragedy on September 11, he has suffered dozens of hurtful stares and insensitive comments. He has been so upset over this he has almost abandoned his dream of owning his own crop-dusting business.

Sorry about the hateful stares, Dude. And those Jewish guys busting the grade curve in Western Civ. Damn, now that's a reason to support Hamas and al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade.