This is by far the stupidest article I've read lately. This is guy is rating the Hummer (follow the links) commercial:

1. The Hummer kid cheats. Yes, the company's Web site offers "thinking outside the box" justifications, pointing out that the race rules are just "First one down wins." But I don't buy it. He fails to stay on a clearly demarcated course. In my book, that's an automatic DQ. Anyway, the off-road driving didn't even look that treacherous—I bet the regular cars could have handled it, too, if their drivers were little cheating brats. Were I the other kids, I would have ripped the wheels off the soapbox Hummer and beat the cheater about the head with them.

Inciting violence amongst kids, that'll get any kid suspended from school nowadays.

2. He endangers other racers. His car is much bigger and heavier, with a higher center of gravity. At one point, only minimally in control of his vehicle, drunk on the overconfidence he draws from his outsized deathmobile, the Hummer kid hurtles across the road right as the rest of the pack is passing. He just barely misses crushing another kid's car, and possibly spine.

The usual lib slam at the SUV. In what way can I say this that everyone will understand- if someone wants to own a gas-guzzling, huge SUV, that is their right. I know that doesn't fit into your nice scheme of things, but it's true.

3. What about the poor dog? We see it left abandoned in its now-useless doghouse, peering sadly through gaping holes where the slats the kid stole used to be. Conclusion: The Hummer kid hoards earth's precious resources, sating his own vanity at the expense of less fortunate, voiceless members of society.

Such as fetuses and Iraqis?

Of course, some will love the shameless Hummer kid and his take-no-prisoners, win-at-all-costs individualism. Not coincidentally, these are the sort of people who buy Hummers. It would make no sense for the company to aim this spot at folks craving a quiet, go-along-get-along image, because those people aren't buying 40-ton cars. The Hummer kid is a me-first kid, and the Hummer is without doubt a me-first vehicle.

All Hummer owners are me-first. Hmmm, does that mean that all Blacks like watermelon and play basketball? Does that mean all Italians drive IROC Z-28's, are in the Mafia, and wear gold chains? Does that mean that all Jews are cheap and are Zionists? Where else can we go with this Seth, you a-hole. How could Slate possibly have posted this alongside the aforementioned Kaus and Hitchens. Come to think of it, the article fits nicely beside Noah and Saletan. I know this is portrayed as tongue-in-cheek, but this idiot truly believes what he wrote.