A new release from The Onion:

The inevitable breakup of Henry Loemer and Frieda Jaynes, which occurred publicly on Sept. 25, left almost a dozen local residents secretly amused Monday.

"There's nothing funny about this situation—except everything," said Jaynes' best friend Deanna Vodak. "They were a terrible couple and never should've been together in the first place. They fought constantly and had nothing in common, other than they were both lonely and liked fucking. Not that I'd ever say that to their faces."

Jaynes and Loemer met two years ago at the University of Georgia, where they developed a flirtatious friendship based on a shared interest in Tom Robbins novels. The two launched their strained relationship in July with a drunken kiss at a bar, and the subsequent coupling ended a six-month sexual dry spell in each of their lives.

Still the best satire on the web.