Damn, this is why I never got lucky back in the teen years. I would ply the young ladies with beer and hope for the best. Now I know all the that money spent on Schlitz was all for nothing;

From the second day beer was brewed, men have emigrated to far-off lands after discovering women snuggling beside them wearing engagement rings and large moustaches.

Sadly, research from the University of Vienna now suggests the beer goggle phenomenon is not a reciprocal arrangement.

While men only need a six-pack to make a life-long commitment to the psychopathic parolee with the skin condition, a homely looking male remains just that to a woman, even if she's just drunk the brewery dry.

Realbeer.com reveals that ground-breaking research has contradicted the long-held view that beer goggles fitted both sexes.

Psychologist Andreas Mittermair, who headed the Vienna research team, enlisted male and female volunteers and asked them to grade pictures of the opposite sex from good-looking to ugly while sober.

Different volunteers were then given varying amounts of alcohol and asked to perform the same task.

Drunken men rated girls several grades up the ladder in comparison with men who had graded the same pictures but had not been drinking.

However, drunken women consistently gave pictures of men lower ratings than women who were sober.

The reason for the variations in this experiment is that men are far more stupid than women.

I thought at least I would go up one notch on the scale after six Pabst Blue Ribbon's. Oh well, at least now I know that I wasn't so incredibly hideous that even twelve Keystones wouldn't get me any, I just looked the same.