This has to be the single stupidest article I've read in...well ever:

Howdy. Oops ... I did it again. I'm supposed to be greeting you with "G'day". Well, you can give me some leeway, can't you? I've only been in Australia for three weeks.

I spent a few days in Australia once. I still never thought to say G'day or anything to do with the barbie. Nothing like patronizing the locals. By the way, I've known dozens of Texans and none has said Howdy when greeting me. I bet if you went into any real bar in Texas and the first word out of your mouth was Howdy, you get your ass kicked by Jim Bob just on pure principle. Just that opening alone would be enough for me to start a petition to revoke your internship and send your dumb ass to back to Texas, or if they won't have you, Syria.

Anyway, I'd like to tell you something about myself, while we're getting acquainted: I am from Texas. I was born there. I was raised there. I lived there for the first 23 and a half of my 24 years, leaving only to pursue a Master's degree at Northwestern University in Chicago, Illinois. In fact, if you really want to get technical about it, my family has lived in Texas for as long as there has been a Texas. When Texas became a republic by divorcing itself from Mexico in 1836, one of my direct ancestors, Collin McKinney, signed the (Texas) Declaration of Independence.

Ah, a Masters degree from Northwestern, he must be one of them edgumacated Texans, a real deep thinker. He's more of a Texan than Bush too, his family has lived in Texas since we stole it from Mexico. Dude, if you had been your Great, Great, Great Grandpa, Mexico would still own it. Old Collin McKinney signed the Texas Declaration of Independence and you're a punk 24-year old going overseas to rip your President (oops, I forgot, in your world Bush stole the election).

I am not boasting. I am merely establishing my credentials so you will know it is a true Texan, one who loves and cherishes his Lone Star State heritage, who makes this statement, on the record for all to read: I am ashamed that George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, calls my home state his own.

Bold move Dude. Making that bold statement in Australia where noone could possibly hear or see it. Oops again, the Mad Aussie Tim Blair reads the papers and exposed you. Can't wait til you come back and settle in Texas, or will you show your true Texas credentials and live in L.A. or New York. I would bet New York, but even the NY Times wouldn't hire your dumbass.

As you probably well know, another Texan, the eminently outspoken and often hilarious Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, told a London audience the same thing in early March. Ms. Maines later apologised, no doubt conscious of the effect such a comment would have on her group's record sales in the States, but I will not. Ever.

See, the difference between you and the Dixie Chicks is that they have talent and are very good at something. They also make serious money and don't want to kill that golden goose. You on the other hand are just an idealistic 24-year old punk who has no career as yet, and judging from this article won't in the future. It really doesn't matter if you apologize or not because you're irrelevant.

No matter what. Even if US federal agents spirit me away and try to torture a retraction out of me - which, with this administration, is a distinct possibility.

I'm sure that Ashcroft has his jack-booted minions gathering at the airport, awaiting for your return, so they can arrest you on arrival and send you to the gulags we secretly operate in Idaho. I believe that roughly three to four years from today, you will return to Texas, probably to live with your parents, and get a job working at a paper. I await this same garbage spewing forth from your computer and the good old boys reaction to it.

Why are you hearing this from me? Well, some of you may have watched Bush address the world from the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln last week. If so, you heard him crow about the success of the invasion of Iraq, thank the coalition troops, and close by speaking poetically of liberty, deeming it "America's tradition" while invoking the names of former American Presidents Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, and Ronald Reagan.

And over the weekend, of course, Bush also had John Howard flown to his ranch in Crawford for a cloying lovefest during which he actually referred to Howard as a "man of steel" and said he regarded the PM as "kinda like a Texan".

Here's a secret for you Leo the cub, the military loves Dubya. He gives them the money they need to do the job required. As to Howard being "kinda like a Texan", I'd bet that most Texans, maybe not your elite friend in Houston, but real working Texans, would agree that a man who stands his ground for a good cause is quite Texan.

I'm betting some of you were disgusted by the jingoism of the Lincoln speech and have misgivings about Howard aligning himself too closely with Bush, feelings stemming from the widely held beliefs that the war in Iraq was mostly about oil and defence contracts, that Bush and company don't always mean what they say, and that more military action is to come.

You hate that rah rah America shit, don't you Leo? Jingoism is so unbecoming. It's also all about oil! And of course the defense contracts. Tell me something Leo, if you're from Texas, why the hell do you spell defense with a c. Just more patronizing I guess.

Well, you're right to feel that way. This administration, for all its shrouding itself in the language of democracy and freedom, clearly has but one agenda: making a few rich Americans richer.

When he assumed my country's highest executive office - a post to which he was not actually elected - in January of 2001, Bush inherited the largest federal budget surplus in history (estimated at $US5.6 trillion over ten years) and a healthy economy. Two years later, the US. economy is in shambles, the surplus all but gone. The workforce has lost more than 2 million jobs. The federal government is running record annual budget deficits.

That's the Republicans, looking to make the richest 1% even richer. And there it is. I'm surprised he contained himself so long. George W. wasn't elected, even though every recount effort done by alot of publications showed that yes, Leo, he did win. The surplus began disappearing prior to January 2001, and something unprecedented happened in September, 2001 that had a direct impact on the economy from which we haven't quite recovered. Didn't want to mention that, did you Buddy?

Is Bush entirely responsible? Maybe, maybe not. But a $US1.3 trillion tax cut aimed almost entirely at the very wealthy, a cut so ill-advised it was questioned even by many supply-side economists, certainly did not help.

Class warfare again. Damn Leo, you're repeating yourself.

If only it ended there. The worst damage Bush has done to America - and this is saying something - has been on the international stage, where his shirking of simple diplomacy in favour of rabid militarism has left much of the world looking over its shoulder at the United States, proclaiming it (quite justifiably) a rogue nation and a threat to global stability.

Our standing on the "international stage" is declining. Bummer. perhaps Bush feels that the safety and security of the American people, which he swore to defend, is more important than what Adolph or Francois think about us. Again you use the Aussie spelling of favor. Is that your editor or are you just patronizing again? Global stability is worse because of the US. That's a novel statement. Global stability went in the shitter when 19 radical Muslim men flew three airplanes into three buildings killing 3,000 of your fellow countrymen. Of course they were your countrymen if Ashcroft decides not to deport you to Guantanamo.

So to recap, a nation in ruins, the rest of the world understandably terrified, and nearly two years to go. But I come not simply to rail against George W. Bush; I come to plead for understanding for myself and my Texas brethren. If you should meet a Texan, please do not automatically assume that he or she cheers at executions or advocates the invasion of sovereign nations for questionable motives. Bush is famous for being a Texan, but he is not the face of Texas.

Leo the Kitty speaks not only for a terrified world but also for all Texans. I'll tell you Leo, unless you deal with your boss the way another intern did, I'd say your career is heading down the drain. Of course it would go in the opposite direction in Australia.