Chirac to pose naked for Entertainment Weekly?

MR. CHIRAC, HIS HANDS strategically covering key parts of his anatomy, appears buck naked on the magazine cover with controversial phrases and epithets such as “cheese-eating surrender monkey” written on his body in what appears to be magic marker.

Secretary of State Colin Powell, who just last week said that the French would be “punished” for opposing the U.S.-led mission in Iraq, said today he was not sure whether Mr. Chirac’s naked photo shoot fit the bill. “After looking at Mr. Chirac naked, it’s hard for me to say who’s punishing whom,” Mr. Powell said.

In other news overseas, British Prime Minister Tony Blair made a rare visit to Great Britain today. Mr. Blair said he had been “overwhelmed” by the warm greeting he received from the British people and that he hoped to visit again “soon.”

Thank god, it's just satire.