March 30, 2003

Hey George, it's me Chirac. Sorry about all that UN stuff over the past six months. I had to listen to focus groups which said to oppose you. You know, kind of like your predecessor did. I knew Saddam, may he rest in peace, was a bad man, I knew that back in '75 when we acted buddy-buddy but I didn't really mean it.. But George, may I still call you George? Uh, OK, Mr. President, I guess you'll be needing some help trying to build a democracy in Iraq. I am calling to offer whatever services you need. We can handle assiting them in doling out the oil contracts. We can guard the northern oil fields and get them running again. We can even assist you in recovering all that money Saddam pilfered. We have already discovered 15 billion in French banks, uh, you're right Mr. President, AP did say it was 30 billion they must've been mistaken. Gerhard said he would love to help and so would the Belgians. Say again Monsieur, I'm not sure I heard you, go what myself? Stick the EU where?