Monday, December 22, 2008

Who Will Beg For Bailout Next? Hookers

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Things are so bad that ho's, pro's and call girls are struggling:

The pleasure of Stacie's company used to cost $450 an hour, but no longer. Her clients were capped at 35 and older; but today she's taking almost anyone. Sex acts once off the menu are suddenly back on -- recession specials, served with a side of shrugging compromise.

If she doesn't do more for less, Stacie says, another prostitute will. And her weekly income is still down by half.

The illegal prostitution economy in the Las Vegas area is a multimillion-dollar beast fed by a black market so diverse that it's impossible to pin down. On one hand, midrange prostitutes like Stacie say they're being crippled by the economy. On the other, high-end call girls claim they're not feeling much pain. And the women charging the least reportedly are making the most these days -- counterintuitive in an industry where bargains come with risks.
It sounds like Stacie the Ho has some problems. Either she lowers her standards to street ho status and makes some money or charges outrageous coin for the high end clientele. A dilemma to be sure and one that is really sad coming so close to Christmas.

It's time for a bailout of the prostitution business I say. We can have Congressman Barney Frank sponsor the bill since he has inside knowledge of how the business works thanks to his ex-boyfriend and his documented cases of frequenting these people of questionable means. We can make commercials calling for the country to help these poor women (and men) make ends meet featuring Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey appealing to Congress.

I for one say we can't let this business fail; it would put millions of women on the street, know what I mean. Plus, they'll go into the legal labor market where they'll take jobs away from more moral people who won't take care of the boss in the back room for a promotion. Plus, think of the pimps. A man with a resume that lists "keepin' the bitches in line" and "slappin' ho's" isn't going to find a job real easily in this economy.

Feel their pain, people.

(note: I fixed the numerous HTML screw-ups in the Scripps piece)

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